A Teen’s Perspective: Points for your tween/ teen relationships
Within the past few months, I actually was involved in my first relationship. It ended rather recently, but with my experiences come advice for all of you.
All tween or teen relationships have their ups and downs, but they can be especially difficult for those who are new to them or might not be mature enough to really understand the meaning or mutual sacrifice and respect that must go into a successful relationship.
Teens and tweens might feel pressure to be in relationships not only from others, but from themselves. They want to fit in, and they want to feel like someone is interested in them, and so when a relationship ends, it can hurt. Give your child some space to heal, but remind your child a few things that will put everything into perspective. I have compiled a list of ideas to remind your teen or tween:
- I was relatively old compared to others to be involved in my first relationship at 18 and having already graduated high school. Those who feel like others around them are in relationships should not feel pressured to do so if they are not ready, nor should they feel left out; they just have not found the right person yet, and that is perfectly acceptable. It is worth the wait.
- Your compatibility with another person should not be taken personally. Sometimes two personalities just do not work well together, or two people want different outcomes from a relationship. In that case, ending a relationship can be beneficial, and the relationship can be used as a learning experience. Just remember that pushing your child to break up with someone might not be effective. You can give your advice, but ultimately, your child will learn what it is you see and break it off, and learn from that experience. Be there to support your child’s decision when that occurs.
- It’s alright to be upset, but don’t waste too much time dwelling over it after someone breaks up with you. Pushing a person back into something he or she does not want to be in would yield an unhealthy relationship, so maybe it’s best that your partner was honest about his or her feelings and stopped dragging you along. Take that as an opportunity to meet someone else, and a gift because now you have more time to do so.
- Don’t be discouraged just because one relationship doesn’t work. It takes a lot of learning, perseverance, and patience. Not every relationship is meant to be! You just have to wait for the one that is!
If you have any other tips, feel free to comment and share what worked for you!
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