Online Dating- Men at your fingertips

Online dating

As a Matchmaker and Dating Coach, I always encourage singles, as one way of empowering them, to be their own matchmakers, to include online dating in their search for love. Being online doesn’t preclude your friends and colleagues from fixing you up, or from a matchmaker making introductions. Online dating is, however, a great way to further educate yourself about who you are, what you bring to a relationship, and what kind of a person you are looking for.

Online dating

Here are some common objections and concerns I often hear from female clients, and my responses to them that may be useful, as you consider online dating.

“I don’t like photos of myself. I’m going to post my online Profile without a photo. What I say about myself should be what really matters.”

Post the best possible photo of yourself. Men spend 3 seconds looking at photos and 10 secondsreading Profiles. They better be good! Get professional photos taken with a photographer who takes online photos. Your headshot should be high quality and flattering. Use a recent photo. You don’t want your date to be surprised or disappointed when he meets you. It’s always better to look the same or better in person. Wear color in your photo (no black). Men notice women who wear color (especially red, pink, blue and purple). Choose a feminine top that flatters you. No cleavage. I recommend one headshot and three to five ¾ body shots for second tier photo locations. Post photos of yourself alone –no pets, no kids, no friends. (seasonal photos with a winter scarf, or in a pretty garden, or at the ocean are good options. No bikinis). Don’t include a photo where you’ve cut off someone’s arm wrapped around you. Look approachable. SMILE. No glasses, unless you wear them all the time. Never wear sunglasses and no business attire.

“I’m not comfortable with online dating. I have a high Profile position and I don’t want my colleagues to know I’m online.”

Anyone who finds your Profile online is probably single too, or he wouldn’t have written Profile. Maybe it will remind him of someone he knows and thinks you might like to meet.

“Last night, my friend and I wrote my online Profile. It took us almost an hour and I posted it this morning.”

If you can afford it, hire a coach to help you write your Profile. An effective Profile usually takes three full drafts. If you can’t afford a coach, ask a friend and someone of the opposite sex to proof your Profile to make sure it highlights your best qualities. Sleep on it for a couple of nights and go back to it for review. Have a male friend read the final draft. Be sure it is well written. No misspellings and no grammatical errors.

By Peggy Wolman

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