how to forgive
It’s not always easy to forgive someone, but we are all human and we all make mistakes. How to forgive is a talent we all need to learn how to have. Life is a lot more enjoyable when you aren’t always worried about seeing someone who hurt you.
Take a few days to cool down. You don’t want to burn any bridges or say things out of haste that you don’t mean. If someone hurts you, simply tell him or her that you need some time for a few days. Be sure to contact the person to talk about the situation when you are calm and collected, and able to think about the situation in a rational way.
Take the time to talk to the individual who hurt you. Even if this individual hurt you, instead of being passive aggressive or ignoring this person, explain how you feel in a calm, rational way. Also be sure to get their side of the story. It will help you to better understand why they did what they did. Although there is no excuse for hurting someone else, sometimes, people just go through rough times. When talking to this person, do not attack them. Just use the term “I feel” as opposed to saying “you did x, y and z.”
Decide whether or not you want to rekindle the friendship. After you finally talk to the individual who hurt you to gauge the situation, figure out what you want. If you continue the relationship in the same way, will it be a healthy relationship? Do you trust this person? Are you benefitting from the friendship? If the answer to these is no to any of these, perhaps it is even best to forgive this person, but never be close friends the same way again. It is better to forgive and be civil than to always be worried about having an enemy or holding a grudge.
If this person was going through an extraordinarily rough time, help them through. Sometimes people don’t mean to hurt you, but just need help getting through. Be sure to provide support, refer them to proper resources (a counselor, therapist, hotline, etc.). Sometimes, these people have no one else who is there for them and gave up on them. Don’t be the last person to give up on someone who just needs love and support.
Don’t forget. When people say “forgive and forget,” it isn’t realistic. You will always remember when someone hurts you. Don’t forget it. Keep it in mind as a learning experience. But don’t hold it against the person or hold a grudge.
Check out the original article on MissOandFriends.com here!